Fear was my compass: Developing hope and faith to overcome fear (Part 3)

A major key to exercising hope and faith is knowing who you are in relation to God, which helps to establish a righteous fear or reverence of the Lord. The Lord had to show me myself and how what was in me was hindering me from knowing Him and experiencing Him fully. Transitioning to entrepreneurship marked the beginning to a season of cutting and pruning. The Lord made it clear He was revealing what was unfruitful in me and removing it. He was refining or purifying me in preparation for how He planned to use me.

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” -John 15:1-2 NKJV

When we hear about hope and faith, usually it’s in the context of having hope or faith for receiving a blessing or breakthrough of some sort from the Lord. My hope and faith was not developed through receiving, but through the process of sanctification (purification). I had to have faith, or in other words trust, in his process to mature me. I also had to hope, or joyfully expect, that it would turn out for my good, even when it didn’t feel good. This was a very emotional season for me, because I was coming to the realization that I wasn’t as “upright” as I once assumed. Life, trauma, pain, and my participation in sin had all left impressions on my soul (mind, will, and emotions). I was becoming more aware of the impact of my experiences and that I needed Jesus for cleansing.

Pride was one of the first things God revealed he was removing. Pride had become a veil that tainted my perception of myself, my abilities, and those around me. The erroneous beliefs created by pride convinced me I needed control and that I was responsible for outcomes. My thoughts and reasoning had become self-absorbed. I became distracted with what I thought I was best, what I felt I should be doing, what I had yet accomplished, and what I didn’t want to be doing.

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each o you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” - Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV

In some instances, this led me to unfairly judge others and situations around me, and to rely heavily on myself. In other instances, the weight of the unhealthy expectations I created for myself resulted in self-condemnation. For years I was stumbling back and forth between protecting my dignity and criticizing my competency, dizzy with confusion and stirring up fears.

One of the enemy’s goals was to keep me stuck on self to prevent me from beholding God. Instead of recalling my history with God to build faith, I would get distracted with my shortcomings. Instead of being present with Holy Spirit, I was distracted by fears.  The enemy wanted nothing more than for me to remain distracted to accomplish stealing my rest with God, stealing my ability to receive new direction, and stealing my ability to recall God's faithfulness in past seasons. BUT, Jesus died to free me.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” - John 10:10 NKJV

God led me away from my natural safety nets and securities, to uncharted territory. He led me through an extended training on humility. This vulnerable place was a mirror that allowed me to truly see myself for who I was, and I realized I was more of a problem than the problems in other people or my circumstances. My preferences, my will, my motives, my ability to forgive, and my ability to ask forgiveness were all tested. I was face to face with my fears. This place of vulnerability taught me about who God really was to me. I knew Jesus the savior, but I was being introduced to Jesus the Lord of my life, the very cornerstone of my hope and faith.

Some of the lessons I learned as a result of this period in my life:

1. The appropriate fear is the fear of the Lord (awe, honor, and reverence of Him). Psalm 103:1-13, Proverbs 9:10

2. Overwhelming myself with added pressure and unrealistic expectations is unnecessary and works based. I actually please God with my faith and belief in Him, not my abilities. Hebrews 11:6

3. Keeping a sober mind about myself relieved me from the deception of pride and torment of fear. Romans 12:3

4. Knowing that God gets the glory for equipping me and leading me keeps me humble and empowers me to walk with Him in faith. Ephesians 1:3-6, Psalm 23

5. When faced with a challenging relationship or situation, before offering solutions to external problems, ask God what He’s revealing about me internally. Matthew 7:1-6, Psalm 139:23, 24

6. The testing of my faith was good. James 1:2-3

7. My hope is in the Lord. Psalm 33:18-22, Psalm 62:5-8

Sign up to be added to our email list to receive reminders about new blog posts!

Until the next one, “Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling.” Psalm 2:11

-Sophia